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What's the deal with stationary?

**

You know I have received lots of stationary in my lifetime.

Invitations are a common use of stationary. I get elegant wedding invitations expressing love, friendship and premptive warnings to relatives to not ruin everything. Of course, the wedding is preceded by bridal shower invitations to a wild night with the bridesmaids, friends, coworkers and the obligatory stripper named Bruce.

Cute baby shower invitations can announce a bun in the oven. Did you ever wonder why they call them showers? I have.

Junior finally got out of juvy? Your step-dad made it through rehab? Hey time for a graduation invitation: welcome to the real world.

Don't forget custom invitations to your gerbil's first birthday party or your pet squid's debutant ball. Other specialty announcements of your divorce, your remarriage to the guy you'd divorced, your take this job and shove it announcement (be sure to use office stationary for that ironic twist).

You can send out your invites online via email, that is if you're slacker-type; hey use a stamp dude and send it via postal mail.

After the invitations are sent out... comes the actual party, get together, soiree, drug intervention, whatever. And that means even more stationary! Print out stationary for gift wrap, gift envelopes and gift tags. Use the same stationary for candy wrappers, stickers, and folded place cards. Sophisticated embossed stationary using a foil seal made of gold leaf lets your guests know that you're really too good for them--guilts them into sending you thank you cards.

If you are a diy (do it yourself) crafts kinda person, use stationary in your scrapbooking projects, use it as matting for picture frames, or as paper for origami projects.

Winter, spring, summer or fall there's stationary for a range of emotions: Sentimental, humorous, whimsical, bipolar--there's always appropriate stationary to express your inner torment or obsession.

Offices use all sorts of printed stationary. Mailing address labels, business cards, letterhead, business sized envelopes (can you use a business sized envelope for nonbusiness purposes, or is that improper etiquette?).

**Andy doesn't get credit for this rant, but you may enjoy reading it to yourself outloud with his voice and mannerisms. You know, you might enjoy just that.

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